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Sunday, March 22, - Monday, March 23
Spring Musical Monday, March 23 Rabbi Elliot Dorff Lecture
Thursday, March 26
Argonne Lab Trip (QuarkNet) Friday, March 27 - Saturday, March 28
All-School Shabbaton Tuesday, March 31
Prospective Student Bowling Party
Friday, April 3 Last Day Before Break
Monday, April 6 Pesach Break Begins
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Sponsor Breakfast
What's better than a birthday celebration with friends? Celebrate your student's birthday or other milestone with a special breakfast at CJHS.
For a donation of $162 (9x chai), bagels, cream cheese, and orange juice will be served to everyone. An announcement will be made in Tefillah and in the dining hall, and the occasion will also be listed in our weekly E-News. If you have any questions, please call 847.324.3713 or email ialtman@cjhs.org. Order forms are available online here.
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The Best Day of the Year
 Greggers rocked, megillahs rolled, grown men walked out in public dressed like cookies, and it was business as usual here at CJHS! Extra ruach flowed through the hallowed halls as students and teachers vied to outdo each other with costumes and shtick. Parents, spouses and children, community members and guests all came to join in the fun.
 Tefillah got off to a rousing (if somewhat impunctual) start as students led with their favorite tunes. Yasher koach to Talia Stoehr, Miranda Borkan, the Weinberg Bros., Rachel Binstock, Ari Eisenstadt, Hannah Miller, Elli Cohn, Hannah Rosenbaum, Avra Shapiro, and class of '08 alumni Seth Berkman and Shai Kamin for their musical arrangements. The hit of the show was definitely an ear-splitting Birchot HaShachar delivered by Yoda, a.k.a. Rabbi Barkan, whose impassioned Jedi prayers hit pitches usually reserved for calling dogs. (Left the order of the words alone, he did. Yes! Mmm! Otherwise, a breach of halachah it would have been. Yes.)

Adam Seidenberg supplied a handsomely illuminated megillah--a gift from his grandfather, Mel F. Seidenberg-- from which Rachel Aaronson, Louis Shekhtman, Jacquie Zaluda, Avra Shapiro, Ms. Novak, and Mrs. Eliaser chanted the story of Esther. The few students foolhardy enough to make long announcements at 10:30 a.m. on Purim morning lived to tell the tale, and the entire school trooped off to a splendid Purim breakfast seudah with relatively few injuries.  |
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Faces in the Crowd
"Somewhere out there I have heard the question, do we at CJHS dress up on Purim? The answer is YES!"
"I always say I'm going to find the greatest Purim costume, but then somehow I never get around to it. Mrs. Eliaser, do you have a costume?"
"Yes."
"Rats! Brett, do you have a costume?"
"Of course!"
"Oh, man... Aliza, are you dressing up tomorrow?"
"Well, yeah!"
 Like the Chasidic disciples searching for chametz on erev Pesach, an impromptu survey by a desperate Jacob Rabinowitz could not find one single member of the CJHS community who was not planning to get into the spirit of Purim. From the elaborately planned disguises to the simple paper labels, everyone got in on the fun. Sarah Palin, Wonder Woman, and freshman Noah Weinberg shared the distinction of "character most often dressed up as" on Purim morning. We saw the Incredibles, the Bridge to Nowhere (complete with VP hopeful and pregnant teenage daughter), a clown con on the run, and a set of Star Wars characters. Seven junior girls came as the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.  The freshman girls came as the freshman boys, accessorized and disheveled with deadly accuracy. The Weinberg brothers switched places without much ado, confirming that they are in fact the same brother enthusiastically cloned. Even Jacob Rabinowitz was seen determinedly scurrying out of the computer lab, a humorous paper sign taped to his shirt.
 2009 was a good year for intellectual costumes. One freshman came as blind beggar Oedipus Rex ("Please help. Killed father; married mother; will save city from Sphinx for food."). Two seniors came as Martin Buber's I-You relationship. We had an excellent representation of sports uniforms, ethnic costumes, and other peoples' holidays--undoubtedly the only Santa to be seen davenning with tefillin this side of the North Pole.
 Accolades and prizes went to the best costumes in each grade.  The undisputed show-stealers were the two seniors who came as the painting American Gothic, complete with pitchfork. Also raising the roof were the set of sophomore basketball players who came as a studly sailor and his pin-up girls, a splendid pair of senior boys as Batman and Wonder Woman, a sinister freshman secret agent, and an adorable freshman Lil' Wayne.
 The faculty were not to be outdone! The math department came as the rising and falling economy; Mr. Gross stole hearts as the sweetest hamantasch ever baked; Mr. Landau brought the house down as Princess Leia--complete with Danish hair--with Mrs. Eliaser as Han Solo, protecting the lovely princess from a full 12 inches below his chin. Running on two hours of sleep, bleary-eyed head of school Tony Frank came in a complete set of scrubs--identified by several onlookers as having recently come from the Evanston Hospital maternity ward. The place of honor, however, must be given to Mr. Griffith as the Tefillah Police and Mr. Scher as the Tefillah Police, Special Seniors Squad.
 "Thou Shalt Be Quiet and Pray," read Mr. Griffith's shirt as he stalked around the room, disciplining persistent talkers with Rabbi Barkan's light saber. Repeat offenders were arrested, cuffed, and marched out of the sanctuary to be frisked out in the lobby. Despite allegations of corruption in the force, Officer Griffith was evenhanded in his law enforcement and was seen to arrest two teachers for similar offenses.  Wide were the smiles and loud were the titters as Rabbi Goldberg was marched out of the room in handcuffs for unnecessary conversation. Several teachers and the Va'ad Tefillah have lobbied for Mr. Griffith to perform this role on a daily basis; however, the decision must wait until Rabbi Goldberg is released from Tefillah jail. |
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Spiel City
Like Clark Kent coming out of a phone booth, the glorious costumes disappeared to be replaced by tweed jackets, pajama pants, and dangerously high heels, as students and teachers poked fun at each other in the finest traditions of CJHS.
This year's senior class spiel Townsend Bond chronicled the adventures of math teacher Mr. Lee "007" Townsend in an action-packed adventure to save the CJHS curriculum from a cabal of Russian-speaking teachers.
Coach Cogan: (caught in the clutches of nefarious Judaic Studies teacher Mr. Zarkowsky) Run, Bond! Leave me! Townsend Bond: Coach! No!
Coach Cogan: He's using Awe and Grandeur! Run before it's too late!
Above, Brett Kopin as Mr. Griffith and Karen Avidar as SeƱora Linda show Bond what "tango" really means, while their amused counterparts look on.
The junior class gave us From the Messy Desk of Tony Frank, starring Jacob Rabinowitz as a fearsomely accurate Mr. Griffith and Zach Kamin as a beleaguered Mr. Frank, chronicling scenes in the daily life of CJHS. Despite the many missives sent to the community over the course of the spiel, E-News reminds its readers that Mr. Gross does not turn into the Incredible Hulk when he's angry, nor has Mrs. Eliaser broken anyone's neck for talking in tefillah--although she would, in the finest traditions of CJHS discipline, undoubtedly be given a good talking-to if she did.
Above: Mr. Griffith's English class, where the word of the day is "Ummmm..."
Debuting this year, the first ever sophomore class spiel gave us the CJHS Academy Awards. Among the awards given out, best philosophical documentary went to Russell and Bob: A Spiritual Renewal--a skit which Rabbi Barkan is still trying to understand--and best science fiction/horror flick went to Science Wars: Mrs. Levinson Strikes Back.
Right: fun-loving science teachers Mr. Taylor and Mr. Urick are flinging chemicals and barbs at each other, when the imposing Mrs. Levinson marches into the prep room to the tune of the Imperial March. Mrs. Levinson: Were those good times I heard in here? Teachers: No, Mrs. Levinson. Mrs. Levinson: You weren't having fun, were you? Petrified Teachers: No, Mrs. Levinson, we swear!

This year's faculty spiel, The Miss CJHS Pageant, was dedicated to the 39 members of our senior class. From Francesca "Stiletto" Hirschfield (played by math teacher Ms. Musleh) to Ron "Shoeless Joe" Schrag (played by the fragrant-footed Mr. Taylor), each senior was paraded to showcase their special gifts. Suzy Dimand and Hauna Trimble wowed the audience with their amazing text-messaging routine, while Esther Lowe managed to carry her 400-pound physics notebook from one end of the stage to the other. Several teachers were extremely gratified to find themselves doing impressions of the students who had, in turn, lampooned them in the day's spiels, and so a good time was had by all. |
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Community Service
Also in the finest traditions of CJHS, we spent the afternoon out in the community, reaching out to those in need. In the spirit of Matanot La'Evyonim, giving gifts to the poor, we did four service projects in the Chicago area. Freshmen listened to the stories of two formerly homeless people of Chicago Coalition for the Homeless, wrote letters to their elected leaders to advocate public policy supporting the homeless, learned about the work of the Night Ministry on behalf of homeless youth, and then packaged cookies for distribution to homeless youth that night. Sophomores packaged five-and-a-half tons of food at the Northern Illinois Food Bank for delivery to food pantries, soup kitchens and homeless shelters in the thirteen counties of northern Illinois.
Sophomore Adam Seidenberg reported, "Packaging food for the homeless was a great experience. The Northern Illinois Food Bank receives most of its food from grocery stores. The food that they receive might have a sell date that passed, but instead of throwing it out, the Northern Illinois food banks puts it to a good cause because the food is still good. I was there with all of my friends and, while we were helping out those in need, we had a really good time. We packaged 11,000 pounds of food, and I know I could have stayed for much longer. The fact that we were giving food to people who could not afford it made me want to work harder. I look forward to doing these Tikkun Olam projects next year."
Juniors celebrated Purim with clients of The ARK. Afterwards, they took a tour of the ARK and stocked their food pantry. Seniors did educational activities with students at Webster Middle School in Waukegan and made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a homeless shelter, P.A.D.S. of Lake County.
Senior Nicole Wiznitzer reported, "Our experience at Webster Middle School in Waukegan was really incredible. We talked about our positive high school experience and encouraged them to want to continue their education. It was also very meaningful doing a service project with them to help others in their community. We are really looking forward to continuing the CJHS-Webster relationship when they come visit our school in the spring." |
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Beach Party, Shushan-Style!
 On Saturday, March 7, fifty students danced the night away at the Purim Dance Beach Party, Shushan Style! The students arrived in appropriate beach attire, escaping the rainy weekend. The dance was an incredible way to celebrate Purim while having a blast! |
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The Youth Philanthropy Initiative (YPI) silent auction concluded this past week raising $1,357.05, all of which will be donated along with other YPI funds to Teen Living Programs (www.teenliving.org). A special thank you to all of the faculty and local businesses who graciously donated items to the auction. Among some of the top items were a novel signed by Robert Kennedy, a house cleaning by Jacob Rabinowitz, and four tickets to a Cubs game. YPI requests that all bids be paid to CJHS (ATTN: YPI) by March 30. 
This year's auction winners include:
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"Just Friends and Brave Enemies" |
Richard Rabinowitz $225.00 |
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Cubs Tickets |
Judy Levin $240.00 |
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School Window Painting |
Madi Cogan $20.00, Jacob Rabinowitz $12.00, Aliza Small $11.00, Becca Gore $10.00, Hannah Rosenbaum $7.00, Nicole Wiznitzer $6.00 |
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Pesach Cleaning Service |
Cathy Silver $200.00 |
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Mr. Scher ACT Tutoring |
Natalie Salzman $50.00 (Peri Axelrod $45.00) |
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Yearbook Ad |
Hilary Braun $50.00 |
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A Cubs Game With Rabbi Goldberg |
Matthew Levin $50.00 |
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The Mr. Landau Star Wars Experience |
Victoria Aron $40.00, Jeremy Hulkower $30.05, Brett Kopin $28.00, Jacob Rabinowitz $26.00, Eli Mogul $20.00 |
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Mrs. Eliaser's Torah Study Session |
Lori Rabinowitz $10.00 |
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Dr. Miller HW Pass |
Jessica Rosenberg $20.00 |
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The Mrs. Eliaser Editing Package |
Talia Stoehr $10.00 |
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Starbucks Gift Card |
Judy Levin $65.00 |
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Love's Frozen Yogurt Gift Card |
Jaime Borkan $36.00 |
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Hershey's Chocolate Gift Pack |
Fran Kravitz $30.00 |
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Campus Colors Gift Card |
Madi Cogan $25.00 |
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Hamentaschen Gift Bag |
Madi Cogan $21.00 |
Thanks to the generous support of the CJHS community the 5769 Mishloach Manot campaign raised $8121 -- an all-time high! The proceeds from this drive will be divided evenly between Mazon: A Jewish Response to Hunger, in fulfillment of our obligation at Purim to feed the hungry, and Teen Living Programs. Thanks to Rachel Braun, Ellie Honan, Jacob Rabinowitz, Becca Gore, Zach Spellman, Eitan Delrahim, Alex Krule, Jeremy Hipps, Michal Goldberg, and Hadas Goldberg for helping to pack misloach manot and to Kate Kupferberg for managing the entire project. Stay tuned for the Used Book/CD/DVD Sale: coming soon to a Jewish high school near you! |
AP Exams
The AP exams will be administered at CJHS during the weeks of May 4 and May 11. Students enrolled in AP courses have already received registration forms. Additional registration forms are available in the College Counseling office. The fee for each exam this year is $86. Registration forms were due this past Monday; if you have not turned yours in yet, your name has been turned over to the College Board Mafia for immediate whacking. Due to our specialized nature, CJHS is privileged to offer exams for AP Tefillah (in honor of Eli Miller, class of '07), AP Grant Writing--formerly known as Communal Leadership, and AP Whining About the Schedule to Rabbi Goldberg, which he will be administering himself. Due to the success of our new cafeteria program, the AP Mooching Around Trying to Pick Up Free Leftovers program has been canceled.
Please note that ENG 1138 (Mr. Landau's History and Mythology of Star Wars) and TAL 509 (Rabbi "YABA" Ben-Avraham's Group Therapy in the Student Lounge) have not been approved by the College Board and are not eligible for AP credit. |
 All faculty, please note that the monthly faculty meeting has been moved to Tuesday. Please remember to bring laptops, knitting projects, and/or quizzes to grade. If you are at a loss for ideas to stay awake, consider knitting a pair of booties for Mr. Frank's new babies. Knitting patterns can be obtained from any Va'ad Vogue member. |
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Five Questions For...
...the CJHS Tiger!
The CJHS Tiger was donated in the fourth year of the school by Mr. Bruce Scher and now rests in a place of honor in the front of our building. This proud stuffed animal has witnessed many a smashing victory and many a grinding defeat in the hallowed halls of our institution. The Tiger has seen many a graduating class come and go, and its unique perspective enriches our view of our school's history.
What do you think is the most defining aspect of sports at CJHS? Tiger:
Is it true that football is incompatible with Jewish values? Will we ever see our Tigers kicking the old pigskin around? Tiger:
How do you feel about the vetoing of the original "Tiger Pride" t-shirt for allegedly being "too fierce"? How ought we best to visualize a powerful athletic team in this age of mutual understanding and cooperation? Tiger:
What is your relationship with the second stuffed tiger, the one that has recently arrived to reign in the library? Are you content to share your territory, or are you secretly planning to slay your competitor? Tiger:
Why do we have a tiger as a mascot? Is it because lions were already taken and we are second-best? Tiger:
Why do these "Five Questions" articles always have more than five questions?
Tiger:
I've been told that as a stuffed animal, you are not prepared to give verbal responses to questions. Is this true? Tiger: Useless stuffed cat. |
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E-News Hacked By Masked Editor
Administrative officials received an agitated distress call earlier in the week from Shira Eliaser, editor of the CJHS E-News. Over heavy static, she informed them that she had been stranded on the road, while her computer--along with the March 13 E-News--has been taken over by a mysterious man known only as "the Editor."
The IP signal appears to be coming from near Howard and California, but all police attempts to find either Mrs. Eliaser or the the computer and its hacker have proved unsuccessful. "He's not in the donut aisle in the Howard Jewel," a police spokesman reported. "Of that we can be certain. We've checked and rechecked it."
"The Editor" has released the 2009 Purim edition as proof of his hostile intentions, and has issued a public demand for tzedakah from all readers. Please donate today, lest next week's E-News be just as atrocious as this one.
For those gentle readers unfamiliar with the concept of "Purim Edition," the Editor explains the tradition of inordinate silliness at this time of year. "Mishenichnas Adar marbim b'simchah," as the month of Adar builds up, hilarity increases. We hope you have enjoyed our good cheer, and we promise to bring you a full update on Churros Day in next week's edition.
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Religious Life
Yasher koach to Shoshana Coven, Jeremy Hulkower, Eliana Fisher, Louis Shekhtman, Adam Seidenberg, and alumnus Matthew Hass ('08) for leading davening this week; also to Eliana Fisher, Leo Spornstarr, and Louis Shekhtman for reading Torah and haftorah.
Yasher Koach and welcome to Columbia/JTS's a cappella group Pizmon, including our very own Shayna Flink ('06) and Aliza Stein ('07), and to Washington University's a cappella group, including out very own Seth Berkman ('08). "It's not very often that a school of our size is blessed with so much talent, and with students who want to give of themselves and to their communities," kvelled Mr. Scher. |
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Shabbat Shalom
Candlelighting is 6:37 p.m. this Friday. Shabbat Shalom!
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